How to Respond to the Silent Treatment from Your Spouse

Almost everyone must have experienced giving the silent treatment to your spouse or facing silent treatment from their spouse.

However happy you may be living as a couple but it’s totally normal having some problems in a relationship.

When a partner goes silent, this may be his way of conveying bitterness, anger, sorrow, manipulation, frustration, or disappointment.

The other partner, who faces this silent treatment is the lonely one because he gets isolated by his own partner.

Getting silent to make your partner realize his mistake can sometimes work in a positive manner because silence is better than shouting at each other.

But habitual silent treatment can affect your relationship and cause damage to your marriage.

You must have heard that communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

So, in order to make your marriage work better, communication should be encouraged.

If you are a lonely partner, who gets isolated and face silent treatment often from your spouse, don’t get hopeless.

In this article, we will discuss some very effective techniques that will help you respond to the silent treatment from your spouse and help you encourage communication.

silent treatment

Show your need for communication


Silence is golden but not in every scenario.

If your spouse gets quiet and starts giving you the silent treatment that doesn’t mean you should also remain silent.

Silence will give you no benefit in this case.

Having no communication with each other for a long period of time will damage your relationship.

So, you should show your partner your need to communicate with him.

Tell him you both need to sit down and discuss what’s going wrong to solve the matter.

By staying quiet, it is possible that you both will keep assuming things and this will make the matter worst.

Don’t fool yourself by thinking silence is a way of peace between you two, but actually, it is very damaging for your relationship.

It’s normal to have misunderstandings and arguments in a relationship but they need to be resolved by discussing and communicating.


Don’t assume

Don’t start assuming things about your partner.

If your partner is giving you the silent treatment there can be multiple reasons behind it.

By assuming things you can make the situation more complicated and the negativity in your head will start coming out through your tongue.

This will only make the matter worst.

Give your spouse some time, if he hasn’t explained the silence wait for his explanation.

Your assumptions and negativity may extend the silence and can become a cause of anger and frustration.


Listen more, talk less

listen more

When you communicate with your spouse, focus more on listening than talking.

Communication is always a two-way process, you cannot just keep talking and expect the other person to keep listening.

When you sense that your spouse is ready to communicate after giving the silent treatment, be ready to listen more.

Make this a rule for yourself that you’ll only talk when your spouse is done with all that he had to say.

Give your partner full space and comfort, so that he can say whatever is in his mind.

This will help you both clear your minds and make you both patch up in a healthy manner.


Respond gracefully

When you see that your spouse has started communicating a bit, respond very gracefully.

Don’t make any sarcastic comments or make fun of what happened.

Instead, show that you’re thankful to your partner for making an effort to communicate.

This will make your spouse realize how much love and affection you hold for him.

Always remember that sarcasm can ruin a relationship, even though you may not mean what you say.

Bury all the sarcasm and make sure you show your partner how much you needed him to talk to you and how difficult it was for you to handle the silent treatment.


Show empathy


I know it may be very hard to show empathy towards your spouse when you’re hurt and want to gain sympathy.

But at the same time, it is very important to show empathy and to show how much you understand the pain of your spouse.

If you only want their sympathy for your loneliness, you will probably encourage silent treatment.

Make sure you make your spouse realize how much you were waiting to have a good conversation with them and how thankful you are to be in a relationship with them.

There is nothing bad in accepting it if you both are genuinely in love with each other.

It will only make your spouse respect you more and love you unconditionally.


Let go of your grudge

Grudges are natural, even if you’re madly in love with your spouse there is a chance you may hold some grudge in your heart in times of arguments.

The only best thing to remember is to don’t hold on to those grudges for a long period of time, they can be devastating.

They are understandable in certain circumstances but they are not acceptable if you keep them for too long.

You may think that they will not have an impact on you, your life, or your relationship, but this is wrong.

Grudges spread negativity so you need to work on letting them go as soon as possible.

If you’re a lonely spouse, try to think positively, make your mind clear and keep trying to end the silent treatment.

Holding grudges will discourage you from making any effort in making your relationship work.


Give time

Try to give as much time as possible to your spouse especially when you are a lonely spouse.

Don’t force your partner to talk, just be around him and take good care so that he may keep sensing how lonely you are without him.

This will make your spouse end the silent treatment soon when he will realize how much you are in need to start a good conversation with him.

Arrange a date night, have some time away from family, work, and kids, and show your partner that you, your time, and your energy is all for him.



Maybe the silence you experience is because of an unspoken hurt that you may have caused.

Maybe you’re not aware of what you did.

If it comes out to be your fault, don’t be defensive, instead, own it.

Ask for forgiveness when you realize it was your fault.

There’s no harm in it because this can be a powerful help to a marriage.

Evaluate your behavior and accept what you did, this will only make you gain more respect in the sight of your spouse and nothing else.

Apologies are also a way to open up a conversation so this can also be the best way to end the silent treatment from your spouse.

And if the situation goes the other way round, your spouse asks for your forgiveness if he realizes that what he did was wrong, don’t hesitate to forgive him.

This will open the gate for a meaningful conversation with your spouse again.

Maybe the silence was because of the guilt or shame that your spouse may have for some reason.

Forgive and let go of all the grudges you might have in your heart.

Start taking steps towards the journey of building a healthy relationship together.


Don’t give up

Don't give up

Don’t ever give up on marriage just because you lost hope by being lonely.

If you’re lonely and feeling worn out, just go and hang out with friends and family who will hold you up.

Giving up on a marriage when you’re facing silent treatment can be regretful later.

If you love your spouse, never give up, don’t make assumptions, and keep trying till you get to know the real reason behind it.

Remember you’re not the only one who’s lonely, your partner is as lonely as you are.

He may be missing you as much as you are.

The only thing lacking between you two is conversation.

Give your spouse some time and space, and wait patiently because marriage is just hard work sometimes.

So, never give up till you get to know the actual reason behind the silent treatment.

Remember, if your spouse is silent it doesn’t mean he is not in life with you anymore.

Silence can have many meanings.


Try to observe your spouse’s behavior closely.

Make sure that your spouse is not trying to manipulate you.

Sometimes there can be no genuine reason behind the silent treatment.

Your spouse may be silent just to manipulate you into certain things, which may be hurting you.

If this is the case, think before you respond.

Think about what should be your reaction if someone manipulates you.

Manipulation should not be acceptable at all.

Marriages don’t work like this, you need to decide then what your next step would be.



Facing silent treatment from your spouse and being the lonely one is not a thing.

I hope this article was of some help to you regarding how to respond to the silent treatment from your spouse.

Almost every one of us gives or takes silent treatment to our spouses at least once in life.

But just remember not to give up on your spouse and marriage unless you’re sure that your spouse is trying to manipulate you and the marriage.

Make sure you keep trying to communicate and also give time and space to your spouse until they are ready to talk.

Silence is golden but not in every scenario, sometimes it can be very destructive, especially in marriages.

After all, communication is the key to healthy relationships.




1) What should I do if my spouse is giving me the silent treatment?

If your spouse is giving you the silent treatment, it’s important to approach the situation calmly and with an open mind.

Try to understand why your spouse is behaving this way, and communicate your feelings and needs effectively.

2) How can I communicate effectively with my spouse who is giving me the silent treatment?

When communicating with your spouse, use “I” statements to express how their behavior is making you feel.

Be respectful and listen actively to their perspective as well.

Avoid blaming or accusing language, as this may escalate the situation.

3) Is it okay to give my spouse silent treatment in return?

No, giving your spouse the silent treatment in return is not a healthy or effective way to resolve the issue.

It may only make things worse and create a cycle of negative communication patterns.

4) How can I set healthy boundaries with my spouse if they continue to give me silent treatment?

Setting healthy boundaries with your spouse is important to maintain your emotional well-being.

Communicate your boundaries clearly and respectfully, and stick to them consistently.

Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if necessary.

5)When should I seek professional help for the silent treatment from my spouse?

If the silent treatment from your spouse persists and causes significant distress in your relationship or daily life, it may be helpful to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor.

They can provide support, guidance, and strategies to improve communication and resolve the issue.

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