10 Proven Ways To Stop Being Shy and Quiet

If you’re shy and quiet, it’s not your fault; your genetics is responsible for this.

Shy and quiet people hesitate to speak in larger groups.

They are afraid to talk to strangers and feel awkward in these situations.

But this is not the right attitude.

Being quiet is another thing, but being silent because you are shy is incorrect.

You must be confident enough to speak for yourself.

And you must know how to face people and have a conversation when needed.

People don’t respect those who don’t speak for themselves.

But don’t worry.

This article will discuss ten proven ways to stop being shy and quiet.

Silence of Sea


1) Conquer Fear

Try to conquer your fears; they are the ones that don’t let you take a step ahead.

When you face your fears one by one, there will be a time when you won’t fear anything.

Let me give you some examples; if you are afraid of speaking in public, sign up for a class about public speaking or join any organization where you’ll get frequent chances to engage with the public.

And for instance, if you fear rejection, try going on a date or applying for a job you’re afraid you won’t get.

Keep trying new things and conquering your fears until you don’t fear anything.

Stop thinking about what others think about you; we all make mistakes.

It’s essential to learn from your mistakes and avoid repeating them.

Stay true to yourself, and never let fear keep you from living the best possible life.

When you leave behind your fears, you become more confident.


2) Don’t Overthink What Others Think

Overthinking Illustration

Stop caring about what others think about you.

Overcome your shyness and do what you think is best for you.

You’ll never feel confident in your actions if you keep thinking about other people’s opinions.

You are more likely to make mistakes and fail in what you’re doing if you pay more attention to people’s opinions and concentrate less on your work.

The more you think about people, the more they notice and are likely to interfere with your work.

For instance, when you’re giving a speech, stop thinking about what others think about you.

Just concentrate on what you’re saying, have confident body language, and be least concerned about what people think.

When people see that you’re confident about yourself, they respect you.

If they notice that you’re hesitating in your speech, they’re more likely to disagree with you and disrespect you.

If someone doesn’t like something about you, it’s their problem, not yours.

Be your original self and feel confident in who you are.


3) Improve Your Body language

Focus on improving your body language.

Body language is a nonverbal form of communication.

Even before we speak, people get our first impression through body language.

Here are some ways to improve your body language. 

  • Use your hand movements while you speak.
  • Try sitting in an upright position without bending your back.
  • Take as much space as you can while sitting; don’t curl up.
  • Walk in a dignified and mature manner; your walking style should show confidence.
  • When you shake hands with anyone, do it confidently to let the other person know you’re a confident person.

People judge you by your body language, so try to improve it.

Practice it when you’re alone.


4) Embrace Your Way of Talking


Way of Talking Tips

If you feel too shy or nervous to talk to someone, whether it’s some stranger or you’re about to give a speech to a larger group, there are some tips you should follow.

  • Try to take a deep breath before talking; it’ll make you feel more relaxed and calm.
  • When you start your speech, speak loud and clear.
  • Your words should be clear enough for everyone to understand, and your voice should reach everyone you’re addressing.
  • Speaking loud and clear no matter how quiet or soft-spoken you are in your daily routine.
  • Practice in front of a mirror before giving your speech. This will help you to see if there’s anything that needs to be fixed; you can fix it beforehand.
  • While you’re talking, make a rhythm in your speech, slow down and give power pause occasionally. This will help in making others absorb what you’re trying to convey. People will get more attentive whenever you slow down a bit or give a power pause and become anxious about what’s coming up next.
  • Don’t rush through your speech; give yourself time, and deliver your words at an average speed (i.e., 120 words/min).


5) Challenge Yourself

Challenge yourself to do things you think can’t be done.

Taking risks for some people may be challenging, but it’ll benefit them in the long run.

For instance, if you’re shy and nervous about doing anything, try to volunteer wherever you find a chance next time.

You’ll find that the same work that made you nervous was not as difficult as you thought it would be.

This way, you’ll overcome your fear.

You’ll find it wasn’t as scary as you thought.

And even if it is, it’ll be easy for you the next time.

Taking risks and challenges makes you confident.

Eventually, you’ll put aside your shyness, nervousness, and fears and enjoy the thrill in your life.

One day you’ll look back and feel very proud of yourself.


6) Ask Questions

Thinking About Questions

One of the best ways to stop being shy and quiet is to have one-on-one conversations with people and ask them open-ended questions.

Open-ended questions give you more time to think while the other person answers your question.

Since you’ve asked for more than a yes or no answer, the other person will explain it to you in detail.

For example, these questions are open-ended:


“What do you think of our last meeting?”

“How do you manage your work with family life?”

“What do you think of life?”

“How do you feel about public speaking?”


These open-ended questions will help you analyze the other person’s perspective on life.

You’ll know the person better and see how comfortable you can be with them.

You’ll observe them while they give their answer, and in the meanwhile, you’ll allow yourself to go with the flow.

You’ll get more confident this way.

7) It’s Okay to be Different

Don’t ever be afraid to be different from others.

Be yourself and be confident in who you are.

Have the courage to be comfortable in your skin.

Your differences make you unique, and they are the ones that help you stand out from the crowd.

Embrace the things that make you unique and different from others.

Don’t be afraid to be authentic and original.

People will also appreciate your uniqueness when you feel confident and comfortable in who you are.

Especially if they can relate with you on some level, they’ll love having you in their lives.

8) Good Conduct

You’ll feel shy, underconfident, and self-conscious when you don’t have good conduct.

If you don’t focus on your conduct, you might later regret it.

Your confidence level will decrease, and you might make more mistakes than usual.

If you say things that aren’t appropriate and misbehave in front of people, it’ll eventually result in hatred from others.

If you’re trying to be confident and stop being shy, try to be optimistic.

Improve your conduct, behave well, be a nice person and help others whenever someone is in need.

When you become a helpful person in the sight of others, you become more confident.

9) Don’t be Too Nice

Being extra nice can be a problem.

It might impress people when you act too nicely or be extra polite, but other problems can also arise.

The formula is to be polite without being overly polite.

When you are being overly polite with people, they get uncomfortable.

They may even need clarification about why you are going extra or out of the way.

So keep a balance.

Being polite will make you a cheerful person in the sight of others; they’ll open up and may initiate a friendly conversation with you.

But being extra nice to anyone will only do bad.

This will make them uncomfortable, and they’ll start avoiding you.

10) Practice

Practice is essential for anything you do in life.

If you find it challenging to take a big step, like directly talking to a larger group of people, try practicing with a smaller group.

Take a start with your close friends and family.

Practice talking confidently in front of them.

Try changing your quiet and shy nature.

Or, if you want, you can also practice in front of a camera or a mirror.

Observe yourself and see what needs to be fixed in you, then start working on the weak points.

Once you get comfortable talking to a smaller group, move on to strangers and a larger group.

Remember, practice makes everything perfect.

Keep practicing, and one day you’ll overcome all your fears.

You may initially feel shy, but practice will make you confident and fearless.


Just remember one thing; being shy and quiet is okay.

It’s just that some people are more confident and outspoken than others.

Everyone is different and unique in their way.

But still, if you’re looking to improve your social skills, the techniques mentioned above may benefit you.

These are proven ways that’ll help you stop being shy and quiet.

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