How to Ask Your Roommate to be Quiet?

Have a noisy roommate?

Or do you want to get ahead of things before you find yourself at wit’s end?

If you’ve never had a roommate before, it can be difficult to know how to interact with them.

But, by learning how to set your boundaries early on and how to approach your roommate in a respectful, but firm manner, you can help make sure your time sharing space with each other is as peaceful as possible.

 

1) Have the Tough Conversations Early

When you and your roommate first move in together, there’s a chance you don’t yet know each other.

It can be tough trying to lay out boundaries and discuss expectations with a virtual stranger, but the sooner you do so, the better!

When you first move in, especially if you come to realize that your roommate is likely to be noisy, discussing noise early on is the best way to avoid running into future problems.

It’s totally reasonable to expect quiet during sleeping hours and to be able to enjoy your time without constant noise.

By setting boundaries and discussing them when you first move in together, you make it easier for both of you to get along.

 

2) Let Them Know When They’re Legitimately Too Loud

If you share an apartment or dorm room, it’s only natural that you can’t control all the noise.

But, be mindful that complaining just because the floor creaks or they use the microwave at night is a bit unfair.

They have a right to live in their space just like you.

When they are legitimately too loud, it is fair to tell them to tone it down a bit.

But, if it is normal living sounds, you may need to accept that some noise is part of living with other people.

What is a legitimate complaint?

Banging around loudly, blasting music, or throwing a party after midnight are legitimate issues.

It’s safe to say, most people expect peace and quiet late at night, and chances are, if your roommate is too loud for you, they’re probably too loud for your neighbors, too.

If you’re having a hard time gauging whether the issue you have is legitimate or you are just being picky, try running it by some friends.

Let them know what’s going on and the noise that’s bothering you and ask if it’s reasonable to ask your roommate to quiet down.

 

3) Work Together to Set House Rules

One of the best ways to avoid any problems from the get-go is to sit down and set house rules the first day you live together.

Work together to create these rules, making sure to compromise and make sure that both parties are in agreement.

Do you need to be up early during the work week?

You may request that there are no guests after 10 PM on work nights.

Outline hours when regular noise is expected and allowed, and when you both expect each other to quiet down.

Have rules for guests, parties, gaming, and anything else that might be relevant in your shared dwelling.

And, if things ever change or you start feeling annoyed by something that was previously okay, consider discussing this with your roommate to come to a mutually-beneficial conclusion.

By working as a team to make your home feel comfortable for both parties, you’re able to enjoy your time living together.

 

4) Be Positive and Pleasant. Cooperation is Key!

Don’t forget, positivity and a pleasant attitude will go a long way!

Even though you may be frustrated by the noise from time to time, don’t go rushing to confront your roommate angrily.

This will only lead to more conflict.

Take the time to cool off, collect your thoughts, and address your roommate as a friend.

Cooperate with your roommate and show them that you aren’t trying to be annoying, but you want to be able to enjoy your space without too much noise.

By discussing this with them in a calm manner, you’re more likely to make progress toward a resolution than if you rush in angrily.

When you live with someone else, you have to compromise and make sure both parties feel heard and comfortable.

Maintaining a positive and pleasant attitude while cooperating can help to foster that.

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